When I was growing up, girls were told to “be nice!” I thought that meant: selfless, quiet, and agreeable. I bought right into that definition without even realizing it. As an adult, I realized that for years I had been the self-sacrificing one, the one who made life easier for everyone but me, all because of my definition of the word “nice.” The old definition screamed loudly - it isn’t NICE to talk about certain issues - especially “feminine issues.” Our moms and grandmothers didn’t feel as free as we do to talk openly about their bodies - not even with their closest girlfriends. Can you imagine grandma comparing stories about the after effects of child birth, or those little leaks that escape so many of us after a sneeze, a hearty chuckle, or while picking up a heavy box?
I’ve been happier since I updated my definition of “nice” to include words like assertive, honest, and authentic. Women tell me that they are so relieved when just one friend tests the waters (sorry, I couldn’t resist) and talks frankly about her experiences with LBL. It opens everyone up. We start talking. And while we start talking, we have really good advice to share with each other! How's that for nice?
Here’s some advice my friends shared with me:
“I can’t stress how much EXERCISE has helped me overcome LBL and listening to my body (and not waiting till I really HAVE to go to the bathroom). Also Kegels are very helpful and I went to physical therapy to learn how to do them right.”
“I used to drink 3 or 4 cups of coffee a day. Since I cut it back to one cup my LBL has improved a lot. I drink a lot more water now.”
“I always worried about wearing a bathing suit. Then, I read a post from a woman on your message board who suggested I just jump in the water first thing, that way if I leak later on, the whole suit is already wet, and nobody can tell.”
It is so nice to compare notes with ladies who won’t let LBL slow them down. Have you updated your definition of “nice” during the course of your life?