Good Food, Good Wine, Good Sex… Goodbye!

Spicy foods taste so good, but can aggravate your bladder. A glass of wine can trigger a leak. And for some women sex can bring on LBL But don’t worry. You don’t have to say goodbye to good food, good wine and good sex when managing light bladder leakage.

The title of this post isn’t about giving up good things, and it’s not about making a quick exit after indulging in pleasures. It’s actually the title of a workshop I run for women who want to design the second half of life to be vibrant and fulfilling. To enjoy the good that life has to offer, we women need to say goodbye to habits and attitudes holding us back from enjoying fulfilling experiences.

Managing LBL is one of many challenges that my two workshop co-facilitators and I have experienced. We’ve each found ways to either manage or eliminate it and get on with our lives. What we discovered is this – there are four main areas every women needs to explore to break free from life’s struggles and create a happier, more peaceful life.

Good Food

“Good Food” comes first.  It represents your body image. Does your current body image help or hinder you? No good can come from comparing yourself to an airbrushed ideal of the perfect body. Don’t ever forget—even supermodels don’t look like their photos in real life! Luckily, you can improve your body-image regardless of imperfections. One way to do that is to look at every body part you judge with compassion. Acknowledge your body, just the way it is, for carrying you through life. You couldn’t be here without it! We women take really good care of what we love. It’s time to make peace with the changes our bodies go through during phases in our lives like pregnancy and menopause. As you give up criticizing your size, shape, or how well your bladder handles a big sneeze, you’re more present to taking better care of yourself, make better food choices and reaching your goals.

Good Wine

“Good Wine” represents enjoying the finer things in life. Finer doesn’t have to mean expensive. Do you allow yourself to enjoy quality experiences? I have a girlfriend who moved out-of-state for work. Her new home had an enormous Jacuzzi bath tub in it.  She lived there for three years and only used the tub twice! Can you relate? I can. There’ve been times when I would have loved to light candles at the dinner table, put on soft music, or read a really good book.  Instead, I either found something to clean, or numbed out in front of the TV watching mindless reruns. Why do we do that to ourselves? It’s because we forget to put ourselves first once in a while. You deserve to enjoy quality moments in life. You are worth taking time out to meditate, walk, or lose yourself doing something fun simply because you enjoy it.  And only you can give that to yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to make it happen for you. You’re in charge.

Good Sex

“Good Sex” represents more than the obvious. It’s about unleashing your loving, feminine nature. It’s the emotion you feel when you watch a sunrise, or see a work of art, and the sensation you feel when gliding moisturizer on your arms and face. It’s the pleasure of moving your body in dance. You are a sensual being. When you live in the mystery and power of your sensuality, daily tasks like brushing your teeth or doing Kegel exercise becomes pleasurable. Whether you’re with a partner or not, whether you leak or not, feeling feminine awakens your passion and vitality. It opens the door to creating intimate, connected relationships with the people you care about.  And if you’re looking for ways to help you feel feminine while managing LBL in the bedroom, read, Let’s Talk About Sex (and LBL) or listen to my podcast, LBL and Intimacy on my Woman-to-Woman podcast series.


“Goodbye!” is all about giving up certain habits, beliefs, and attitudes that no longer serve you. If you’ve ever given up a habit like smoking (which contributes to LBL), you know how difficult it can be. Even though the benefits make it worthwhile, it takes a strong commitment to change.  Getting a friend to make the commitment with you creates accountability, and gives you someone who will be there for support and to celebrate successes.

When it comes to LBL, the most crucial things to give up are beliefs like, “there’s nothing I can do about it,” and “I’m the only one.”  One in three women experience LBL. You’re not alone. And there are ways to manage, reduce and sometimes even eliminate light bladder leakage. We have many articles on our website to help. The first step is to see a medical professional. Your general practitioner, gynecologist, or urologist may recommend a pelvic floor physical therapist to work with you. Every woman’s body is different. Getting advice specific to your body gives you the best chance to get a positive result.

Say goodbye to self-doubt and start trusting yourself. Say goodbye to putting yourself last, and sprinkle those things you’d love to do into your calendar. Say goodbye to letting LBL be a reason to stop yourself from getting up and out so you can get on with your life.

What about you?

To enjoy good food, good wine, and good sex, what are you committed to saying goodbye to?

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