By Paul J. Watkins
You're out in public, and you need to use the restroom. You find one, but when you walk inside, there are other women there. Even though there are several empty stalls, you leave and search for another bathroom. You find one, but it's occupied, too. You're desperate to find a bathroom that's empty so you can be alone─ because that's the only way you can go, the only way you can feel safe.
If this situation sounds familiar, you may be one of countless women who experience Shy Bladder Syndrome. Also known as pee shyness or bashful bladder, this anxiety about using public restrooms─or even a bathroom at home─when other people are around can make women's lives very hard. Often, it forces them to avoid social situations, from the large crowds at concerts, festivals, or sporting events, to small gatherings with just a few friends.
According to Jonathan S. Abramowitz, Ph.D., ABPP, Director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Clinic in the Department of Psychology at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, Shy Bladder Syndrome is a very real condition that can affect people of any age, and it’s more common than people think. "Paruresis, or Shy Bladder Syndrome, can be an embarrassing problem," says Abramowitz, "and it's probably even more difficult for women to talk about than it is for men."
Shy Bladder Syndrome can have a tremendous impact on a woman's life, keeping her from going places and doing the things she wants to do. "I know people who couldn't go to their kid's little league games because there's just a portable toilet there. They'd be afraid that someone else would be in line behind them, and they couldn't go to the bathroom," says Abramowitz. "Some women can't go to movies or restaurants because they'd have to use a public restroom. In one sense or another, it can take over a woman's life just because it's a natural process that can come up at any time, and the woman might start to worry about it and avoid any situation where she might have to use a public restroom."
The scenario of looking for a public restroom that is unoccupied is a common one for women living with Shy Bladder Syndrome, but Abramowitz says it’s not the only way women tend to cope with their anxiety. "Some women avoid going to the bathroom, and that involves lots of other strategies. If she is going to spend several hours in a large crowd, she may decide not to drink many liquids that day. On a road trip, she may decide to pull off the road and go in the woods, instead of stopping at a rest stop."
Abramowitz says that when women finally do seek help, most of them start by talking with their family doctor. The doctor may send the woman to a urologist to find out if her difficulty has a physical cause. If it’s clearly psychological, the doctor will likely refer her directly to a psychologist. In therapy, psychologists don't concern themselves with trying to figure out what caused the fear of using public restrooms when others are around. Instead, they help the woman reverse her thinking and avoid the habits she has developed. The best form of treatment, says Abramowitz, is called Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or CBT. It helps a person do two important things: change the way they think about a distressing situation and put those new thoughts into action.
Abramowitz stresses that women with Shy Bladder Syndrome can be helped, and there is no need for women to have their lives revolve around it. "Women should not think that Shy Bladder Syndrome is all in their head," stresses Abramowitz. "It is a real problem, and the good news is that we understand it.”
Talk to your Doctor or health care professional for more information about Shy Bladder Syndrome and ways to find a CBT professional in your area. You can also visit these websites:
Life & Health Newsletter
Sign up for your FREE subscription for helpful information on how to manage your bladder control problems.
You also get lifestyle information, healthy living tips and expert Q&A to help you live life to the fullest.
